Highlight of the week--not eating desserts!!!! We gave up desserts so that Tara a girl we are teaching can give up Coffee and it has been great she is doing really well with not drinking coffee and she is on track to get baptized December 13th!!!!
I have been feeling like I can't be myself lately. Being with someone 24/7 is VERY taxing and I have been going crazy because I just want to be myself but I don't know how. Sister Paul is great but we think very differently and we are both very competitive so we are constantly trying to show each other up it seems and it is not healthy. So at the beginning of this week I was sick of being with her truth be told and I was so excited to go on exchanges! So I went on exchanges with a Sister who has been having a really hard time, one of her friends back home just died and she has really been struggling with that. So we had a really good day, she is really funny and just super easy to get along with. So we had a really great day and I was not looking forward to going back to my companion, and I wasn't very gracious because I think my companion could tell but I didn't really care because in my mind my companion thought I was inadequate and didn't really think I was good enough. So in the mission field we have this amazing awkward conversation called companion inventory. It is where you sit down with your companion and tell them everything that has been weighing on your mind about them, you also tell them their strengths and what you like about them. So this week my companion and I sit down to do companion inventory and she started crying and said that I have been making her feel like she isn't doing anything and that she isn't a good missionary. I felt awful I felt absolutely terrible that I was making her feel badly about herself so I need to change that I need to be a better more Christ like person. If anyone has any ideas on how I can do that, please let me know asap.
As we go out and preach the good word to people we see a lot of people that are struggling and that don't really have anything and I always wonder, "why do I have so much? Why have I been so blessed?" especially with having the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life because I would be so lost without an understanding of the atonement and my Savior. I really increased my testimony of the reality that people can change through the atonement of Jesus Christ this week. I was reading in the Book of Mormon Mosiah 27:25-26 and it says, "Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, chagned from their carnal and falled state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God becoming his sons and daughters; and thus they become new creatures." ALL of us have weaknesses we all sin, we all have temptation but we can overcome those weaknesses and truly change through the atonement of Christ. Then I read in Alma 5:33 "Christ sendeth an invitation unto all men, for the arms of mercy are extended towards them, and he saith: Repent, and I will receive you." No matter times how many times we have sinned how many times we have struggled we will be forgiven God loves all of us not just some of us and I love that!!! I don't know how He loves all of us because I meet some people and I just don't know how to love them but I know that as I come closer to Christ I will be able to love everyone and accept everyone for the person that they are. I love you all I miss you all tons! I hope you are doing well and that you know that God loves you and so does Jesus Christ, don't ever think you aren't good enough. Sorry this got double spaced I don't know what happened.
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